November 9

              On this remarkable day The Jourmudgeon applauds his Facebook friends who are appealing for calm and resolve. The Jourmudgeon joins them in urging everyone to keep things in perspective. After all, the sun will continue to rise every morning, and travel around the earth on the back of a giant turtle. Ships will continue to sail off the edge of the world, or be devoured by dragons. People will continue to visit their doctors to be bled of ill humors. Witches and ugly women will continue to be burned, as God intended. Pretty women will continue to be grabbed by their pussies, because they like it, really. And the people will continue to bless their new emperor for promising bread but delivering circuses.

The Jourmudgeon’s own survival strategy will feature four years of heavy drinking. God bless America. Please.